The Camel and The Straw
by Takebuo Ishimatsu
Summary: Rufus finally pushes Reno too hard, ordering him to do the one thing he’d never do. Now the redhead’s gone AWAL with the help of AVALANCHE & it’s up to the blond to get him back in one piece. Rufus/Reno, Valenwind, etc.
1. It Begins

**Title: **The Camel and The Straw

**Author: **Takebuo Ishimatsu

**Pairing(s): **Rufus/Reno, various others

**Summary: **Rufus finally pushes Reno too hard, ordering him to do the one thing he'd never do. Now the redhead's gone AWAL with the help of AVALANCHE & it's up to the blond to get him back in one piece.

**Warning: **This fic is YAOI/SLASH/MxM. Go away ye man-lovin' haters. Once again, there is quite a bit of cussing in this fic, though not as much as Misconceptions (I hope). All the characters in my version of FFVII are gay with horrible potty mouths. XD

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Final Fantasy VII.

_AN: Well, this has been sitting on my computer for a long time and I've been working on it on and off for months and months. It's almost finished so I finally decided to start posting it. Sorry to those of you waiting for Misconceptions 4 (I am working on it!) but I've just felt like writing other stuff lately._

Chapter 1 – It Begins

"With all due respect, sir, I don't think that's a good idea, yo. Killing the Double D's would piss Strife off like no otha' and Shinra don't need Sephiroth's ass-kicker on its tail at the moment," Reno said with a smirk, trying to remain playful and non-caring. He couldn't let the President know the truth about Tifa if he wanted his partner to have even the tiniest bit of happiness.

"'With all due respect,' Reno, I don't believe it's your place to decide what's best for _my_ company. In order to protect Shinra's future, we need to stop all possible problems before they become such, starting with AVALANCHE." Trying to keep calm as to not give the extraordinarily perceptive man any clue as to his motives, the blond allowed just a hint of a steel to enter his voice. Inside, however, he was fuming at the thought of the redhead disobeying him for that…that…tramp!

_I knew it! Never has _my_ Turk refused one of my orders! Never! That walking pair of tits has him enthralled! Probably has him convinced that they're in love or some pathetic shit as that! Stupid whore! He's only supposed to be with _me_!_

"Yes, of course, sir. But, couldn't we maybe start with the ninja or maybe that cat-dog-wolf-thingy? Ya know, make it look like a minor un-Strife-related accident so they don't go nosing around afterwards?" Rufus had to admit, if he actually wanted to kill off all of AVALANCHE, his Vice Director's plan was more stable than his. But since he only actually wanted that little tart gone, his own arrangement would do fine.

"And here I was thinking that my _third-in-command_ could handle a simple assassination job without getting caught! Are you telling me you don't have the skills required to complete this mission, Turk?" Rufus's voice had shifted from annoyed-commanding to flat-out condescending. He knew that his remark had hit home as the other man stiffened slightly.

In truth, he could easily have one of the others do it, with Tseng perhaps even being the best choice for such a delicate job, but he needed to know that the other would place the Turks, place _him_, before her. It wasn't as if he was making him chose between himself and Tseng or he and Rude.

"I can do it, sir. I'll need a little time, yo. Gotta set things up right."

Rufus thought for a moment, trying to see if he could get out of that one without risking the other getting caught. Eventually he just nodded and waved a hand at the Turk, a clear dismissal.

He leaned back in his chair smirking once his Vice Director had left. The redhead would be a little annoyed with him for a while but nothing he couldn't smooth over eventually.

_You belong to me Reno. All Turks are mine, but you most of all. You just don't know it yet._

Satisfied that the case was closed, he went back to looking over some random data that the WRO had sent over, half of which he couldn't even read. Needless to say, he was rather shocked by what Tseng had to tell him a few weeks later.

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Shit. Shit! SHIT! SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!

That was about the sum of the redhead's thoughts as he hurried about his inn room, throwing stuff into his suitcase left and right. He paused mid-throw, momentarily staring down at the shampoo bottle in his hand.

_Wait, this ain't mine. "Morning Fresh," huh? Hmm..."For long-lasting bounce and shape!" Don't know if I wanna trust an inn freebee, but this might be cool to try. Maybe I could mix-Wait! WTF are you doing man! Go, go, go!_

Reno came back to reality with a burst of panic. He threw the shampoo bottle across the room and went back to snatching up everything useful he could find. He could just imagine the look on Rude's face if he saw him running around in a half-crazed frenzy, stealing towels and toilet paper from a two-room inn in the middle of nowhere.

_Oh man! *Rude.* He's always gonna think I betrayed him, yo! Well, better than the alternative, I s'pose._

There was no way in hell he was going to drag the other into this. He'd never let the big guy know that he'd quit for him; it'd only make him feel guilty forever.

Reno winced, realizing the next time he saw his partner he'd be looking down the barrel of a gun as well. At least, he hoped there would be a gun.

_I may not have been the best partner ever, yo, but I tried, damn it! Ok, I did break his sunglasses like 4,000 times, and there was that one time I got him totally shit-faced and dropped him off at that pervy old man's house, but - damn it! - he'd better not smash my face in! _

Still cringing at the image of getting the crap beat out of him before his inevitable demise, he finally closed his suitcase and tied the three item-stuffed pillow cases together (also courtesy of the Gongaga inn). He was a red and black blur as he dashed out the door and down the stairs. He hurried over to helicopter he'd flown, his own personal one to use when on duty, before coming to a dead stop only a foot away.

_Good thinking, Reno. Let's take the *ShinRa* chopper, with it's *GPS locator* and fly off into the sunset. Man, this shit's really fucked me up. What the hell am I doing, yo?_

Taking a calming breath, Reno relaxed as much as was possible, given the situation. Seeming more like his usual Turk self, the redhead calmly sauntered back towards the inn, his normal air of uncaring arrogance once again in place.

"Hey you!"

The elderly gentleman who ran the establishment gave Reno "The Look" before murmuring something about rude brats who should learn to mind their elders. He continued sweeping, acting as if nothing had happened. Reno just rolled his eyes.

"Damn geezer," he whispered softly to himself.

"You gotta car or something, yo?" he said louder.

"What's it to you?" The man was by now eyeing the Turk, a clear expression of distrust on his face. His eyes caught sight of the pillow cases full of inn supplies for the first time. He gave Reno another Look, but didn't say anything. In general, if a Turk wanted to steal something of yours, it was best to just consider it gone, no matter the fact that this particular one appeared to be a damn stupid brat.

"What're you lookin' at?" Reno snapped. The old man just raised his eyebrow, and Reno rolled his eyes in return.

"Hey, you saw that 'copter I came in on, right yo?"

The other man just nodded. It'd been kind of hard to miss the redhead's entrance, given that the small town had only about a hundred people left, none of which were particularly wealthy or important. The only reason ShinRa had even cared enough to send someone was due to the fact that they were still trying to rebuild their empire. First they'd have to win back the people's trust, starting with the old mako reactor sights such as this one.

"I'll trade ya. Your vehicle for the 'copter. What do you think, yo?" Reno was by now bouncing on the balls of his feet, the only outward sign he gave of his stress. He ran a hand through his hair and gave the other one of his playful smiles, as if he randomly asked people if they wanted a ShinRa first-grade presidential helicopter on a day-to-day basis.

"Why?" The man's eyes were narrowed. It was no secret that Reno was a Turk, and even if one of them could be trusted, Turks had many enemies.

_Damn little punk probably has some assassin on his tail and wants me to take his ticking time-bomb off his hands. Probably blow the whole damn town to pieces first time it's started up._

Reno sighed. Truthfully he wasn't surprised, who in their right mind would trust _him_? Hell, some days he wondered about trusting himself. However, he just couldn't wait an hour for the man to finally give him his answer.

He dropped his usual playboy look and showed the old man his true face, the face of a cold-hearted killer. The innkeeper dropped the broom and started to back away as Reno advanced on him. The Turk grabbed the front of his shirt, and pushed him up against the nearby wall, as gently as he could while still trying to scare the shit out of the old man. He didn't want the geezer to have a heart attack, after all.

"Look here, you damn old fart. I don't have time for this shit, yo! I need to get out of here, and I can't take the 'copter with me. Yes or no answer, NOW!"

While the old man still looked about ready to piss his pants, he also got a thoughtful look in his eyes.

_Trained assassin or not, I've been up front all day and I'm positive nobody's gone by that bird. Nobody new has even entered town. And the only other people who'd be able to hit him in the sky are those in other helicopters, and the only people who have other helicopters are professional pilots and…_

The old man gave Reno another searching look before nodding his head slowly. He was immediately released. Once safely away from the Turk, he motioned for Reno to follow him before leading the redhead out to a garage in the back of the building. He pointed to a motorcycle, one a bit smaller than Strife's, before pulling out his keys and tossing them to Reno. A set of helicopter keys went flying back at him in exchange.

_No joke? That hundred-year-old fart can actually ride this baby? Now I've seen it all, yo._

The redhead walked over to the bike before suddenly whirling around and smacking something with his EMR. He blinked down at the black backpack that he'd hit before giving the old man an incredulous look.

"You attacked me with a _backpack_, yo?" The old man snorted and shook his head at the younger man.

"Damn stupid punk, I didn't attack anything. Take that! I think you'll need that more than I ever did." With that, the older man gave a pointed look at the pillow cases and then left completely.

Reno eyed the bag for a moment before snatching it up and dumping everything in it. He slung it over his shoulder and hopped on the bike, speeding out of the small garage without further ado.

_AN: Well, what do you think so far? I have to admit, of all the fics & original stories I've ever done, both posted & not, on either account, this is the one I'm most pleased with. That said, I would greatly appreciate it if some feedback was left. It doesn't have to be all lovey-dovey either; if something seems off or just sounds weird, let me know. It'd like to know both your favorite and non-favorite parts! Most importantly, I hope it doesn't flow oddly (since it's been written at different times over a few months). _

_As I said, it's almost finished (I hope…I keep getting ideas ^_^0) so new chapters should be posted fairly quickly. I just have to fix them up a little & finish the fic. _

_Posted 1/6/10_


	2. Out With the Old

**Title: **The Camel and The Straw

**Author: **Takebuo Ishimatsu

**Pairing(s): **Rufus/Reno, various others

**Summary: **Rufus finally pushes Reno too hard, ordering him to do the one thing he'd never do. Now the redhead's gone AWAL with the help of AVALANCHE & it's up to the blond to get him back in one piece.

**Warning: **This fic is YAOI/SLASH/MxM. Go away ye man-lovin' haters. Has some cursing, but hopefully not too much. (This is rated T for a reason!)

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Final Fantasy VII.

Chapter 2 – Out With the Old

_AN: Well, I've decided to go back and clean up my fics a little, so if anyone re-reads the first chapter, it'll be slightly different. (I'm beginning to wonder if all my cussing is too much, so I uploaded the "clean" version over the other…mainly just took out the unnecessary F-bombs.)_

Tseng stared down at his phone for a moment, his jaw dropped. Had Reno really just called in and quit? He glanced at the calendar on his computer, wondering if the date coincided with any of the younger Turk's worst days. He always got especially moody around the anniversary of Sector 7's destruction.

_No, I don't recall there being anything around today. Maybe he's having a bad time with the Gongagan locals? Cissnei would have been a better choice, if she'd not been busy. Perhaps I just misunderstood._

Tseng winced at that last thought, knowing he was lying to himself. There wasn't much one could misunderstand about, "Go tell that blond asshole to drown himself in his fancy-ass bathroom! And, go screw yourself too and all your little ass-wipes! I fucking quit!"

_Yes, definitely a bad day. I'll give him until tomorrow to call back before speaking with the President. Even as much-needed stress relief, Reno should know better than to call and say anything along those lines. That, or he shouldn't be drinking on the job. Or both. _

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It was a week later before Reno finally decided to allow himself to truly rest.

He pulled off to the side of the road and quickly walked his bike into the nearby forest. He wished he knew how to properly track things in the wild, at least then he might know how to cover his own signs of passing. He just hoped the boss didn't call in someone with forest training; he might be able to get away for a while longer if only the other city-dwelling Turks were after him.

_Humph. What's with this *boss* and *other* Turks, huh Reno?_

Reno gave himself a bitter smile as he realized he was still thinking of himself as a Turk and the president of ShinRa, and Tseng, as his boss. Truthfully, he guessed that he'd probably be killed before he ever thought otherwise. He'd been a Turk for years, and even now he still felt a small sense of pride when he thought of being one, let alone the third-in-command of the whole company, beneath only Tseng and the President.

He slowly sat down, wincing as his legs protested after being on the bike so long. He rested his back against a tree before whipping out his phone. Unsurprisingly, there was 15 missed calls from Elena, 42 from Tseng, and a whooping 79 actual messages from Rude. For a guy who didn't talk much, he sure could use up his minutes. He continued to stare down at it for a moment before looking away.

It probably wasn't too late to call Tseng and beg his forgiveness. He could tell him he'd let the stress of the job momentarily get to him and that he wanted to come back. Well, ok, considering he had called the Wutainese man up and told him to fuck off out of the blue, he guessed he probably wouldn't be welcomed back with open arms. However, he _hoped_ that by now the other Turk cared enough about him, or at least thought him valuable enough, to allow him to return and work under maximum surveillance.

After all, Tseng had been the one to originally decide he was Turk-worthy and had even taken it upon himself to personally train the redhead. Reno felt he could safely say their relationship was similar to the one Zack Fair and Angeal Hewley had had, if not a bit colder.

And, hell, Rude had better forgive him! It was all his fault in the first place! He just had to fall for one of ShinRa's past, and potential future, enemies. Reno sighed.

Unfortunately, it wouldn't do him any good to call if he didn't mean it, especially as they'd most likely make his life a living hell and would never fully trust him again, with the exception of his partner who'd probably just shrug it off, whether he told him the real reason or not. The big guy was good like that when it came to him.

That was his real problem – he didn't know if he could continue working for Rufus Shinra if the blond bastard was going to drive him to kill his best friend's love interest. Sure, he didn't actually know the reason, but still.

_That guy's gotten weird since Meteor, especially these last few months. What the hell is his problem? Didn't seem like he even wanted to listen to me at that meeting. Acted like I didn't even deserve an opinion! Shit, I know Turks are ShinRa's dogs, but the new bossman has always been different, yo._

Thus, he'd woken up a week ago and started on his mission for the company, just like every day, and suddenly out of nowhere knew he couldn't do it anymore. Despite what he'd told his superior, he wasn't actually making any plans to kill Tifa. He wasn't going to do it. He killed and kidnapped people for the boss every single month without batting an eye. He sat through at least three hours of board meetings every-other day without even thinking of sneaking off. Hell, he'd even jerked off for the original president, fat bastard, for a week before Tseng had found out and put a stop to it.

This, though, this was different. Rude would never forgive him if he found out that the one person he was truly interested in being with forever, perhaps even marrying some day, had been "taken care of" by his most trusted friend. And he would find out. He always did when it came to Reno.

He looked back at his phone, browsing through the contacts, before closing it and sighing. There weren't any Turks in his phone, he'd long since had them memorized, but rather the numbers for all the local pizza places, ShinRa mechanics, and other random service-providing businesses that he used day-to-day. He smiled sadly as he realized he'd probably never call any of them ever again.

He looked at the small device for a few more moments before finally walking towards the river he could hear and tossing it in. He then pulled off his goggles and, with shaking hands, tossed them in as well. He stood there long after they were both gone before eventually going back to his makeshift camp.

He felt unbelievably glum and almost contemplated following the river to see if he could get his goggles back. True, getting rid of the phone had been hard; he'd no longer be able to call Tseng and laugh it off as a joke. However, losing the goggles really stung. They'd been a gift from the Wutainese man when he'd first joined the Turks.

He sighed at himself; he was starting to lose his touch if a damn pair of headgear was affecting him this much; he didn't even use the stupid things. Truthfully, he was surprised he'd not been found yet, considering how high up in the command he'd been. People on the Turks' hit list only lasted a few days, if not less, especially sentimental idiots such as himself.

"Gotta lose these threads too," Reno murmured to himself, careful not to make too much noise just in case there were any monsters around. A slum rat like him wasn't trained to fight a behemoth, though he felt confident he could if it really came down to that.

He carefully examined his personal contents of the backpack before giving up. They'd be smart enough to make his tracking devices so small and/or advanced, he'd never be able to tell where they were. And there was no doubt in his mind that there was tracking devices. It was just too damn convenient how Tseng, or someone sent by him, had always shown up not half an hour after he'd worked up his nerve to call his superior on the rare chances he needed help. Hell, for all he knew, his entire suit could be one big Turk-magnet. He'd just have to find someone around his size and offer them a trade or even just buy all-new ones, though he'd prefer not to spend the little gil he had on him on that.

He sat back down against the tree. He knew he shouldn't stay here, but damn was he exhausted. He'd not eaten anything since the day before, and he'd not had a full night's sleep since he started running.

_Who are you kidding, Reno? They're gonna get your ass anyway, might as well get shot in a forest rather than blown up on the road. It's more romantic, or some shit._

He closed his eyes and before he even knew it, he was asleep.

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Tseng sighed as his call was directed to the redhead's mailbox for what must have been the 40th time. He shut the phone before the beep was heard; he never left a message. He knew full well that if the other wasn't responding to _Rude_, he for sure wasn't going to be persuaded by any sweet words from him.

"Still no luck?"

Tseng shook his head with a sigh, turning to give his boss a bitter smile.

"I suppose I've waited long enough, sir. I will send out Lisa and Koko as the first scouts, followed up by Nicls and Kulrin. Even combined, they're probably no match for Reno so more Turks will likely necessary before this is over. I'd prefer to keep Elena, Cissnei, and Rude out of it if at all possible. Unless specifically needed, I will be staying here with you, just in case he decides to extract revenge for whatever injury he seems to think we've dealt him," Tseng said coldly, to the outside observer looking as if he had no problem killing the young man he'd trained and worked with for almost a decade. Rufus knew better.

The blond gently squeezed the other's arm in comfort. He nodded to show he wasn't opposed to the other's plan. In fact, he had to admit he was rather relieved. The longer the top Turks stayed out of it, the longer the redhead had to come to his senses.

_Maybe I should send him a message myself? I'll tell him that he won't be killed if he returns now. Oh, he'll be punished for sure, but not permanently harmed. _

He shook his head in denial even as the thought came to him. The former Vice Director might tell him that he was only willing to return if the hit was taken off Tifa. Which it really was, seeing as he'd only told the young man about his "plan" for AVALANCHE. Not even Tseng knew about Reno's side mission; he'd made sure of that.

_My dear Tseng's too clever. He'd have volunteered for such a delicate mission and then he'd have known instantly that something was going on once I said that only Reno would do._

Regardless of Tifa's current status, Rufus knew he'd not be able to bear hearing Reno demand her protection, and so he decided to wait before doing anything himself.

He was rather heartbroken a few hours later when he'd finally had enough and picked up his phone to plead for the other to return; the thought of Koko or some other random Turk killing the man he cared for having drove him half-insane.

"I'm sorry, but the number you have dialed cannot be reached at this time. Please try again later. If the problem persists…"

_AN: So, how goes it? If you obviously can't tell, not all of the POVs are at the same time, though I try to write it so that you can easily tell what point in time it is. Well, easy for me. ^_^0 If it seems too confusing, please let me know! Sorry again for no Misconceptions Ch 4. _


	3. Goddamn Tea

**Title: **The Camel and The Straw

**Author: **Takebuo Ishimatsu

**Pairing(s): **Rufus/Reno, Vincent/Cid, more to come

**Summary: **Rufus finally pushes Reno too hard, ordering him to do the one thing he'd never do. Now the redhead's gone AWAL with the help of AVALANCHE & it's up to the blond to get him back in one piece.

**Warning: **This fic is YAOI/SLASH/MxM. Go away ye man-lovin' haters. Has some cursing, but hopefully not too much. (This is rated T for a reason!)

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Final Fantasy VII.

_AN: IMPORTANT!!!! Well, I've gotten two separate reviews/PMs that either ask if or imply that this is a Reno/Tifa…IT IS NOT!!!!!!!!!!! ^_^0 Sorry if I've confused any of you, but Rufus only *thinks* Reno is with Tifa; he's not. Rude is actually…well, trying to be anyway. Only one(?) F-bomb in this chapter, go me!_

Chapter 3 – Goddamn Tea

_Next stop, Rocket Town! Maybe I'll have that old bastard, Highwind, make me some of his "goddamn tea."_

Reno allowed himself a small smile as he continued on his way to the captain's hometown. He was surprised, to say the least, to still be breathing, let alone still riding about the countryside freely. It'd been over two weeks since that fateful morning and he'd yet to see any sign of his old friends, making him wonder if his former co-workers had decided to give him a head start. He wasn't stupid enough to think they'd let him go completely; he was just too damn dangerous when not under ShinRa's control.

Nevertheless, it made him smile to think that he'd been given a break, however minor. He still thought of them as his only family, Tseng and Rude especially, and it was nice to think they thought the same thing. Hopefully Cissnei and Elena were in on it too, that'd give him at least another few days, he figured.

His smile was quickly replaced by his usual smirk as the first signs of Rocket Town came into view. He imagined what the people would say if they could hear his thoughts.

_It'd cause mass panic if it got out that Turks were actually human, yo._

The redhead pulled his bike up next to the famous pilot's house, already knowing which one it was. ShinRa was very interested in keeping an eye on the Planet's saviors, especially one such as Highwind, who was the king of not only flying, but also building, ships. It didn't hurt to know where Valentine was either, for once.

_Damn, the look on Laney's face was priceless when we dropped those pics of them fucking on her desk. Man, she's way too easy, yo._

Of course, it hadn't taken long for Valentine to figure out he was being watched, and not a day after taking the photos, Reno found himself face to face with Death Penalty. Luckily, Highwind had thought the whole thing was absolutely hilarious and had in fact rather liked the idea of having some photos of the two of them screwing to jerk off to when they were separated.

Reno had, unfortunately, forgotten that Valentine used to be a Turk, one of the best, and had mistakenly thought the whole thing over once he'd handed over the copies of the photos that weren't stashed in the President's desk. He'd learned just how wrong he'd been a week later when he'd walked into the Turk office to find photos of him jerking off in the shower covering every single flat surface, including the floors. To this day, it was a great ShinRa mystery as to how exactly the red-clothed man had done it.

_Damn, I thought the boss was gonna bend me over his desk and rape my ass._

It was a well-known, if unspoken, fact that the current president of ShinRa enjoyed looking at the redhead, and even touching him whenever possible. He doubted the President realized how obvious he was being, though, especially after the Meteor scare. And, seeing as Reno had never been forced to do anything explicitly sexual for the man, had never actually even been groped, the redhead had never felt the need to tell the other to knock it off. The blond was attractive, and, before the current "Tifa Incident," rather thoughtful. Despite how he may appear to others, Rufus had always looked out for his Turks, and it was obvious he'd never seriously thought of forcing the other man sexually or even just using his power to get a date, though he clearly could. Turks belonged to the President of ShinRa, for whatever he may wish.

However, that didn't mean the blond was above bugging his home. Reno had always had the creeping feeling that he was being monitored when he showered. Not to mention the fact that the President had always been oddly cheerful the day after the Turk would sneak his hand down beneath the covers and pleasure himself in bed.

_It was probably Tseng that wired it all up, damn traitorous bastard._

"What the hell do you want, you little peeping prick?"

Reno smirked at the captain, the man never changed.

"Jeez, you damn old geezer. Is that any way to treat a guest?"

"Guest my ass!" Despite his words, Highwind stomped up into the house, going to make some tea. Then again, Reno figured the man would probably even use the town burning down as an excuse to have more tea.

"Reno," Valentine said softly out of nowhere, almost making Reno jump. The redhead gave the other man a wary look, which in turn caused his fellow ex-Turk to smirk.

"Hey there, Valentine. Long time no see, yo," Reno said nonchalantly. He refused to let the other man scare him…Well, at least, he refused to let the other know it. He doubted he was actually fooling anyone.

"I see you chose to leave your camera behind," Valentine said in his usual flat voice.

"Same for you, yo," Reno replied back, his playful smirk in place once again. Valentine nodded and walked into the house, leaving Reno with the impression that some sort of agreement had been reached.

_Those two are weird, yo. One loud-mouthed, crazy ass bastard + one sneaky, rarely-says-a-damn-thing dude = perfect match. Who'd ever guess, yo?_

It was as if their partnership was some freak of nature only to be born once in a thousand years.

_Wait a sec, yo. Is that what people think about me an' Rude?_

"Come sit your ass down and drink your goddamn tea!" Highwind yelled loud enough to startle the some of the monsters on the outer edges of the town, though none of the residents even batted an eye. It was well-known by all in Rocket Town that you either put up with Cid Highwind and drank his "goddamn tea," or you didn't live in Rocket Town. After all, the man was a genius at making and fixing all things of a mechanical nature, not just ships. Plus, it didn't hurt to have the two lovers prowling around the outskirts, killing any monsters that got too close.

Reno sauntered into the house and took a seat across from the two men. He was just about to take a sip from his cup when Highwind spoke up.

"Hey, where's that partner of yours? He finally get tired of your shit and dump your ass?"

Reno frowned, wondering if he should involve the two.

_Well, if they feel sorry for my deserting ass, they might let me stay the night. No one in their right mind would try to take me from Valentine's crib. Well, except maybe Strife, yo, but there ain't enough gold in the Saucer to get that guy to help ShinRa out._

"You could say that it's more the other way around, yo," Reno finally murmured, causing Valentine to raise his eyebrow and Highwind to frown.

"What the hell does that mean?" Highwind asked, sounding annoyed, though his face held a hint of worry. Though the two weren't even on a first-name basis, Reno had still proven himself worth the effort by all the times he'd helped them out. He'd even gone against his orders to stop them, saying he was "off duty."

"Can I stay here for the night, yo?" Reno asked unexpectedly, dodging the blond's question.

"What the hell! Like I'd want a little peeping tom like you-"

"Yes," Valentine said over his lover. Highwind sat gapping like an idiot, looking between the two men. The brunette sent his lover a look and Reno got the feeling he was missing out on a pretty damn interesting silent conversation.

Finally, after a couple of minutes of various eyebrow raises, smirks and head tilts, the two seemed to reach some sort of agreement. Highwind just huffed and Vincent went back to sipping his tea.

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Tseng blinked at the progress report he'd just been emailed. Three weeks after he'd deserted, they'd finally spotted Reno. Apparently, he'd been in Rocket Town for a week…with Valentine? Unbelievable…Brilliant.

_First, ditching the hidden tracking devices and now this. I don't know how you managed to convince those two, Reno, but if you keep up with the rate you're going, Rufus will come crawling before you do._

Tseng wasn't oblivious; he'd seen the way Rufus had been looking at the other ever since the danger of Meteor had drawn his Turks in closer to him. He'd also seen the guilty look he'd gotten when first told the news of Reno's desertion. There had to be something going on between the two, he just had to find out what before the blond took it too far and ruined his chance at happiness.

_What have you caused, Rufus? Don't you see how warm Reno's smiles are when you're together? He likes you; he could learn to love you if you just came out and told him how much you care. Planet, everyone and their mother already knows that you're attracted to him, and that he doesn't mind the attention. What a young fool you are._

The Wutainese man allowed himself an internal smile and an outward sigh as he went to give the President the news.

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"Perhaps now would be a good time to tell us what exactly you've done to incur the wrath of your comrades," the smooth voice said from behind a red wall of cloth.

Highwind glared at the offending material, clearly still annoyed that the other former-Turk's presence gave his lover an excuse to hide his face behind it once again. He rather liked looking at the other's features; he was beautiful. Almost pretty, even.

_Like hell I'd ever tell Vin that though. Last time I even hinted at it, that SOB threw a fit and didn't let me top him for a month. Like a damn woman._

To his credit, the brunette appeared to be amusedly ignoring his lover, keeping his eyes on his cards. After eyeing the redhead for a moment, he called Reno's bet. The younger man cussed like no other as he once again lost. Searching through his bag, he finally pulled out his tie and placed it on the table.

"Huh, forgot I even owned one, yo." Valentine raised an eyebrow, but he accepted the article of clothing as a valid bet. The captain made a noise as his lover removed his goggles and placed them on the table, but otherwise didn't try and stop him.

"You bastard, why don't ya try placing your own shit up on the table for once."

Valentine just batted his lover's hands away as he tried to pull off his red hairband.

"I'll need my hair pulled back if a fight breaks out. Besides, I've won 8 out of 10 games so far."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. I'm gonna make some more tea." Highwind flipped his lover off as he went to the kitchen, causing Valentine to roll his eyes. They then darted to Reno, piercing him just as easily as one of his bullets.

"Now, back to your explanation."

Reno sighed but knew he wasn't getting out of this one. He was frankly surprised the two had let it go this long, allowing him to stay with them for a week without even batting an eye. But, it was a little too much to ignore the four Turks currently hiding around the town.

"I won't tell ya all the details, yo, but let's just say the bossman asked me to kill someone that shouldn't be killed."

"I see," Valentine murmured almost absent-mindedly as he looked at his cards.

And, really, he did. Turks were human, and humans had feelings. What most people didn't know was that just as many Turk deaths were from friendly fire as from enemy attack. Eventually, there was always that one family that couldn't be killed, that one child that couldn't be kidnapped, that one straw that broke the camel's back. Then it was up to the "lucky" Turks left to get rid of their weak link.

Valentine turned towards his lover when the man came back from getting more "goddamn tea."

"Will you fly us to Seventh Heaven?" Highwind's face lit up at the unusual occurrence of Vincent asking him to go someplace, even if it was just Tifa's bar. Usually he had to force the recluse out of hiding at spear-point, threatening to shove it up his "scrawny ass" if he didn't move it.

Vincent hid a smile behind his cloak as he continued to play cards. He was quiet for the rest of the evening, content to listen to Cid and Reno discuss the most random things, such as what brand of cup-holders were best to install in which helicopters.

_Finally, he is distracted. Now I can truly play._

Neither man noticed as their third member pulled out a few extra cards from beneath red cloth.

_AN: Woot! Another update!...And still not Misconceptions 4…^_^0. Working on it! Well, that and another unposted fic about Reeve (not to mention the rest of this story). Well, what do you think? I actually wanted to Vincent/Reeve (an influence from Xenobia's lovely series) but the parts with Valenwind were already written months ago. He shows up later though! (Yes, Takebuo is a closeted Reeve fanatic.) XD_

_Well, whatcha think?_

Posted 1/22/10


	4. Well, Shit

**Title: **The Camel and the Straw

**Author: **Takebuo Ishimatsu

**Pairing(s): **Rufus/Reno, Vincent/Cid, more to come

**Summary: **Rufus finally pushes Reno too hard, ordering him to do the one thing he'd never do. Now the redhead's gone AWAL with the help of AVALANCHE & it's up to the blond to get him back in one piece.

**Warning: **This fic is YAOI/SLASH/MxM. Go away ye man-lovin' haters. Has some cursing, but hopefully not too much. (Though this is rated T for a reason!)

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Final Fantasy VII.

_AN: A few days later than normal; I wanted to update this along with Misconceptions, but that doesn't look like it's gonna happen. I'm so friggin' tired right now. X_X I'll try to get some more writing done later for Misconceptions, after I've either taken a nap or drunk a "Reno-amount" of coffee. XD Good thing this is already written (though I'm slowly catching up to where I need to write more…^_^0)._

Chapter 4 – Well, shit

Rufus waived off his Wutainese subordinate, already knowing what he was going to say. It'd been kind of hard to ignore the huge _Valentine II_ dropping in behind Seventh Heaven. There was no doubt that his missing Turk was aboard.

_You have _got_ to be _kidding_ me!_

He was all for Reno finding a safe spot to stay, not so much for that spot being with the one person he'd been trying to keep the redhead from. Not to mention Strife. Damn super, awesome, I-was-not-a-SOLDIER-but-I'll-kick-your-ass-all-the-way-to-Wutai Strife.

He didn't pay any mind to his Director of Administrative Research as the man raised an eyebrow at him. He knew he must look ridiculous, elbows on the desk with his hands buried in his platinum blond hair. But, Tseng had already seen him several times as his life spiraled downwards, what was one more less-than-flattering moment?

Silence filled the room for a few minutes before Tseng finally let out a sigh. Moving from his "bodyguard position," the Wutainese man laid a hand on his boss's shoulder. Rufus looked up at him warily.

_Here it comes._

"Perhaps, sir, you should tell me what happened."

_Shit._

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"Thank you for allowing us the use of your establishment," Vincent said softly before bringing his cup of coffee up past his cloak collar to take a sip. A small smile appeared at the formality; Vincent just being Vincent. A clear contrast from the man he called his lover, who was already in a loud, curse-filled drinking contest with Barret and…Yuffie? Tifa dearly hoped she wouldn't have to break up a fight that contained that odd trio.

Moving away from the gunman, she wondered over to the second ex-Turk sitting at the bar. She watched him watch the others, blue eyes lazily moving from person to person before coming her way. He smirked when his gaze met hers though she swore she saw his eyes soften when they caught sight of the rose clip in her hair. A gift from his _ex_-partner.

Or, so he claimed. She really couldn't believe that a man who could kill hundreds with a shrug would quit over a single death. Even if it was possible, she also couldn't believe that the men and women he'd worked with for years, even his own partner, would just give up all they'd shared and kill him in cold blood.

_Well, Vincent says he believes both and even being out of the game so long, I suppose he'd still know more about the Turks than any of us._

Curious, she idly walked behind the bar. Leaning on the counter to his right, she examined him up close, well aware that she was in his space. To his credit, Reno just raised an eyebrow in response and continued on drinking as if she wasn't literally six inches away.

"So, Reno, you wouldn't happen to want to tell me who you supposedly can't kill, would you? Give us a little clue for our hospitality?" she said sweetly, trying for information out of some sort of comradeship rather than threats and intimidation.

Rude had told her once during one of her rants about ShinRa, which had turned into a rant about people like Reno, that the redhead really hated himself for Sector 7. He still had followed his orders, something which made his current predicament quite dubious to her, but the thought that it burned him inside went a long way in allowing her to forgive him and give him a second chance. Or, at least, not threaten to feed him to the wolves if he didn't tell her what she wanted to know.

"It's not random, ya know. Your rose, I mean. You're s'pose to give chicks roses, but that's not why you got yours. The big guy said that you reminded him of one, yo. All beautiful and love-filled and mushy shit like that, but with tough thorns saying that you can take care a yourself, yo…In case Mr. I-Don't-Say-Shit didn't say so himself."

She turned away to hide her blush, pretending to wash glasses that were already clean. Almost unconsciously, she reached up to touch the beautiful hair clip she'd received one morning. It'd been sitting innocently on her counter when she'd come down to open the bar. Her thoughts of it being some sort of weird threat having vanished when she'd picked it up and read who it was from.

_Rude's so sweet._

She'd thought that then and thought it again as she mindlessly drifted throughout the rest of the night, day-dreaming about her silent Turk.

It wasn't until the redhead headed to bed that she realized she'd never gotten the name of the person he was suppose to assassinate.

_Damn, he's good._

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Despite reminding himself for the hundredth time during the President's explanation that Turks don't twitch, Tseng felt the inevitable tic once again, this time for his left eye.

"You mean to tell me, _sir_, that you not only ordered an assassination without informing _anyone_ but Reno, let alone _me_, but also that that hit was for Tifa Lockhart? That you didn't even attempt to listen to your own third-in-command when he tried to explain the situation to you? What were you thinking, Rufus?"

Rufus flushed and began examining his pens. Despite not usually thinking of his Turks as being only his employees, he desperately tried to be angry with his subordinate for scolding him, rather than feeling the embarrassment he did. It didn't help that he'd always had a special spot reserved in his cold, Shinra heart for the Wutainese man. He mumbled something that Tseng was just barely able to catch after all his years of being a Turk.

"Excuse me?" the Director said, pretending to have not heard.

_Say it loud; make it _real_. You are a not the little boy anymore that I met all those years ago. This time, _you_ must do something to fix your mess. Though, I will help you, as always…and forever._

Tseng already had the barest hint of an indulgent smile when the younger man burst up from his chair and slammed his hands down on his desk.

"You heard me! I was jealous! I _am_ jealous! He's suppose to be mine! I've known him since I was sixteen! I've cared for him for years! And, I grew to love him during the Geostigma…but that stupid whore stole him away! What's she ever done for him? Nothing! What does she even know about him! Nothing! She…she..."

Tseng watched as the young man seemed to deflate, sitting back down in his chair and hiding his face in his hands.

"She has him," he whispered and the Wutainese man could almost hear the unspoken _and I don't _added onto that sentence. His turn to once again to give comfort in their odd relationship, he reached out and gently squeezed the blond's arm.

"It would seem you're quite misinformed, sir. Tifa is with Rude, or at least, attempting to be with him. It's more of an off-on dating relationship at the moment." Rufus's head shot up like a bullet.

"But…I saw Reno give her that rose she always wears!" he said desperately, continuing on at Tseng's raised eyebrow, "Well, I didn't see him give it to her directly, but I know he did! He was trying to hide it, but I saw him buy it one day when he took me out to the shops. Then it suddenly appeared in her hair one day. It's made of pure gold and melted down summon materia. After giving all his money away, that's hardly something Strife could afford even if he wasn't still longing for his dead lover."

"Sir-"

"No, that's not it! He's given her real flowers too! Every time a new arrangement appears in the windows of her bar, he comes to work smelling like that damn church! And there's other things too, in his bank account," Tseng gave the other a Look at the mention of going through his employee's financial history, though as President he had the right to keep track of whomever and whatever he pleased.

Rufus continued on, by now not paying any attention to the looks Tseng was giving him, "Do you even know how many drinks he's bought from Seventh Heaven recently?"

"I-"

"Forty six! Forty six drinks, half of which are a kind he doesn't even like! Why would he order drinks he doesn't like!"

"Sir-"

"And, I know they're not for Rude, since he's allergic to cinnamon and Reno would never order anything with it in it for either of them when he's around, just in case. So, who gets the cinnamon?!"

"Rufus-"

"I know what you're going to say! Maybe it's Elena or one of the other Turks he's buying for or something, but that's not the only weird purchase! He's also bought sexy women's lingerie –I doubt he's wearing that himself!-, a basket full of sweet fruits –Rude's lucky if he even gets Reno to eat a Banora White-, a pair of black gloves –if he ever even wears gloves, it's the bright red dragon ones _I_ got him for Christmas-, and a king size bed –despite all his flirting, he doesn't sleep around, so what would he need that for! So, you see, if Tifa is with Rude, she's also with Reno! I knew she was a whore!"

Rufus seemed to remember to breathe again once he'd stopped. He sat back smugly in his chair, looking only a little flustered at his uncharacteristic explosion, pleased with having proven his case. He winced slightly as he finally took in his Director, who was standing with his arms crossed while giving him an "are you done yet" look.

_I suppose I might have gone a bit overboard right there._

"So, Tseng, what do you think?" he asked awkwardly and flushed a little as the other man waited a second for more ranting outbursts before answering.

"I think you would have no trouble joining the Turk training program on your own," he began.

_Ha! I knew it! Even Tseng can't deny all my evidence! Who's misinformed now?_

"And that you would fail by the end of the second month," he finished.

_Wait…what?...Shit._

Rufus seemed to sink lower into his chair with each word that passed through the other's mouth after that.

"His bed finally broke and he decided to buy a king so that he and Rude and whoever else could lay on it when they were _playing video games_. The gloves were a _surprise_ birthday present for _you_," he paused to give the blond another Look before continuing, "the sweet fruits were a gift for Rude's mother when the two went to visit her, the lingerie was something Cissnei asked him to get for her while she was busy, and the cinnamon cocoas were for me when we met with Reeve –we all took turns paying. As for the flowers, both real and fake, he did in fact give her, _but_ not in his own name. In fact, he signed them all from Rude in an attempt to spark something between the two. He was rather successful, and I imagine that the only reason neither ever told you about the budding relationship was in fact due to her being a former AVALANCHE."

_Shit. Shit. Fucking shit! How the hell am I suppose to fix this mess I made! Shit!_

The blond gave the Wutainese man a bitter smile before jokingly asking, "Why the hell did Cissnei need lingerie?"

Tseng gave him a nod in understanding, both accepting his unspoken apology and agreeing to his silent plea for help.

"I imagine only Reno will ever know, sir."

_AN: The Tseng+Rufus interaction was a bit long, but hopefully now you all know where the miscommunications started. Obviously, I've started using other POVs as well, with Vincent last chapter & Tifa this. Cloud will have some say next time. Two questions/explanations I have: I say "former" AVALANCHE since it is my impression they've "disbanded" or at least aren't active. Also "Director of Administrative Research"…? Read it all over in fanfics but haven't played the original in a while so can't recall if that's what Tseng actually is. Sorry. ^_^0 _

_Well, whatcha think? Hopefully you all won't feed me to the rabid chocobos for only having a tiny bit of Reno in here. *pleading puppy eyes* Hopefully it's going along nicely with all these extra POVs coming into play. (I seriously started this fic with a beginning, an ending, and the scene with Vincent/Cid+Reno and it kept getting bigger and bigger until all these other people showed up and Reno's travelling the world. LOL)_

Posted 2/1/10


	5. Talking to the Dead and Lying to the

**Title: **The Camel and the Straw

**Author: **Takebuo Ishimatsu

**Pairing(s): **Rufus/Reno, Vincent/Cid, Zack/Cloud, more to come

**Summary: **Rufus finally pushes Reno too hard, ordering him to do the one thing he'd never do. Now the redhead's gone AWAL with the help of AVALANCHE & it's up to the blond to get him back in one piece.

**Warning: **This fic is YAOI/SLASH/MxM. Go away ye man-lovin' haters. Has some cursing, but hopefully not too much. (Though this is rated T for a reason!)

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Final Fantasy VII.

_AN: Uh...reeeeeeeeally late, I know. Time just seemed to get away from me! I swear it seems like I just updated this last week! *Please note: this author has a horrible sense of time, apparently.* I did get a chance to write another few pages of this, though, so hopefully updates shouldn't stall too much after this. Well, here ya go._

Chapter 5 - Talking to the Dead and Lying to the Living

*Giggle*

Cloud took a moment from his silent sweeping to turn towards the sound. Marlene and Denzel were peering over the back of their seat to stare at the dozing redhead behind them, head resting in the corner of his own booth. The blond eyed the other as well for a few seconds before coming to the conclusion that he wasn't actually asleep. In fact, he appeared to be watching them, eyes just barely open enough for his mako-enhanced vision to catch a glimpse of blue.

The blond "hmphed" before going back to work. While he wasn't exactly pleased with the other secretly observing them all, whatever his reason, he didn't really have any excuse to stop him. At least he wasn't causing trouble. Well, not directly.

_Barret will have a _fit_ if he comes in and sees his baby girl with an apparent interest in "Turk activities."_

Cloud sighed before setting his broom against the counter. As much as he wanted to help Vincent out, who'd apparently taken the younger ex-Turk under his wing, it was starting to get a little ridiculous. Reno'd been at Seventh Heaven for five days so far, all the while Turks and ShinRa guards were piling into Edge by the dozens. If the other didn't leave soon, he feared there'd be war.

"Marlene, Denzel, could you go see if the others are awake yet? I'd like to start breakfast soon," Cloud said with a smile. The little girl smiled back at him, happy to be of help, while Denzel just gave him a knowing look.

"Sure Cloud!" Marlene all but shouted. She snapped a hand up over her mouth, an "oops" look on her face as she darted her eyes over the "sleeping" Turk. To his benefit, Reno made a grand show of stretching out his arms and legs as he "woke up," before giving the two kids a lazy smile. Marlene beamed back in return before darting up the stairs, Denzel's hand in her own as he was jerked along behind her.

"Quite an energetic bunch you got here, Strife," Reno said absentmindedly, eyes still on the stairs the children had disappeared up.

"Yes they are," Cloud replied with what could almost be a dark whisper. He started towards the other calmly, carefully watching the ex-Turk as he got closer, though more for the bar's sake than his own safety.

_Tifa will kill me if we break any of her new booths. And then Life me and kill me again._

If he was honest, Cloud had to admit he was impressed that the only outward distress sign made was calculating blue eyes darting to meet his own. The former Vice Director of Administrative Research didn't even bother sitting up in his seat, lazy smirk in place as usual. The other's cool imagine was shattered, however, as the mako-enhanced man could hear Reno's heartbeat speed up as he got within a few feet of him.

_Good._

While he wasn't normally the type to use his strength or reputation to threaten others, he was a little pleased at the affect he was having on the "coolest" former Turk. Perhaps he wouldn't actually have to physically toss the other out as he was planning.

_If all else fails, with my strength and his weight, I could probably pitch him across the street to those waiting Turks and tell the others he finally decided to give up._

Even while feeling bad for such thoughts, the blond still decided his family and friends were worth more than a former enemy. Especially the destroyer of Sector 7.

Cloud sat down to Reno's left, blocking the redhead in unless he wanted to dive under the table and dart up over the other side of the booth. The Savior of the Planet wouldn't put it past him. He turned to speak but before he could even open his mouth, Reno's hands shot up in the air in mock surrender.

"Yo, yo, yo! No need to get threatenin' Strife. No offense to your lovely bar or nothin' but I'd much rather be other places, yo. I wanna leave as much as you want me gone, but now that we've been surrounded, how am I s'pose to get out?"

Cloud rolled his eyes before responding, "Then why did you think Edge was a good idea in the first place? You had to have known something like this was going to happen."

"Don't be like that man! It was your buddy Vinny's idea! Though, I s'pose his plan was ta wait 'em out or somethin' like that. But, between you an' me, I think he waaay overestimated how well we'd be able to stand each other. No offense again, yo, but I gotta be honest when I tell ya I HATE kiddies an' that crazy ass ninja and gun-arm ain't any better." Reno whispered the last part as said members of AVALANCHE began walking down the stairs. His face belied nothing of his words as a friendly smile, Reno version, was flashed towards the others. They both glared in return.

Cloud sighed, wondering what Zack would have done in such a situation. A small smile graced his lips as he imagined the other rushing out and demanding the Turks leave Reno alone.

_~Well…not to smear your honorable image of me or anything, but I'm beginning to think maybe you should just toss him in a sack and throw him out to the Turks as you're doing your deliveries.~ _

By now used to being the only living person with his own personal connection to the Lifestream, Cloud didn't even bat an eye at the sudden figure that appeared just to the left of his vision.

_~Zack! How could you say something like that!~ _

The blond could just barely see a young lady in pink punching his former lover in the shoulder. With quite a bit of strength too, if his wince was anything to go by.

_~Ah, come on, Aeris! There's children involved. And, well, he's a Turk. I mean, I like Reno just as well as the next guy, but even _Angeal_ told me not to get involved with Turks.~_

Cloud shook his head at Zack's whine, while Aeris just "hmphed" and turned her back on the other. She started to walk away, and the former SOLDIER 1st followed behind like a pitiful puppy.

_~Aeris! Don't be mad!~_

Once again alone with his companions, Cloud got up to help Tifa make breakfast for them all, giving the children a small smile as he passed by.

_Put him in a sack, huh? That's actually not a bad idea…_

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Tseng's eyebrow reached new heights as he eyed the bag Strife currently had flung over his shoulder. Even with his enhanced strength, the smaller man appeared to be having some problems controlling his extra large package. It probably didn't help that it was moving.

_He wouldn't…would he?_

It was no secret there was no love lost between the former AVALANCHE group and ShinRa, but still…he just couldn't believe Stife, role-model to all boy scouts everywhere, would be the one to hand the other over. Even with the unspoken threat against those in and closest to the group, he'd have expected Mr. Wallace to break first, or perhaps even Ms. Lockhart herself.

_Those of primary members of AVALANCHE must hate the company more than I estimated. I suppose it doesn't matter either way, at least this is ending without bloodshed. Leviathan knows I was expecting at least a third of my division to fall to Strife alone if a war were to ensue._

"What brings about this change of heart?" Tseng said lightly. The sack stilled upon hearing his voice, only to then resume fighting with extreme vigor.

_Very good, Reno. You'll need that fighting spirit when we get back to headquarters. You still need to be punished publicly, if only to uphold the division's image._

"I think you know the answer to that question. Now that we're not fighting, I like Reno as well as the next guy, but there are children involved," Cloud tried not to smile as he quoted his long lost lover. He could hear a soft "Did ya hear that, Aeris?" in the very back of his mind in response.

"Yes, of course." Tseng nodded slightly before raising a hand to signal for Rude. Though stony to everyone else, the Wutainese man knew the other enough to see that he was practically vibrating with happiness as he walked up to grab his errant partner. Cloud shook his head and put out a hand to stop him.

"Not so fast, Turk. I want all of these lackies of yours gone first. And, I do mean _all_ of them. Don't bother lying either, I can hear their heartbeats even from this distance."

Tseng blinked at that before giving the other a dubious look. Cloud just raised his eyebrow in response.

_~Mmmhmm…Is that so? Hate to break it to ya, but I don't think even _Seph_ could do that, Spike.~_

_Shut up Zack! I'm trying to concentrate!_

_~Soooorry!~_

Cloud couldn't blame the other, though. It really was a horrible bluff, and he'd be surprised if Tseng bought it. Luck was on his side, however, as the Wutainese man just pulled out his cell phone.

"If you say so, Stife," he replied with some amusement, making it clear what exactly he thought of Cloud's remark. Having decided the blond wouldn't give him his subordinate unless he thought everyone had left, Tseng used code words to call off everyone but a handful of people in the best hiding places, hoping the others hadn't discovered them yet.

_Time for my own bluff, Stife. Let's see how you fair._

The three waited in silence as several Turks and guards in higher-up positions gradually walked past the trio, leaving how they'd come. After several minutes of this, all while his package shook and screamed what must have been obscenities behind an unseen gag, the former "not-SOLDIER" seemed satisfied enough to release his hostage.

"Well, here you go, Rude. Uh…by the way, Tifa really likes the hair clip you gave her," Cloud said awkwardly. Tseng was suddenly reminded of the young man's former mentor and lover, Zack Fair, as he rubbed the back of his head sheepishly with one hand while holding onto Reno with the other.

Rude flushed a little as he nodded in assent, another thing he'd have to thank his little partner for. Maybe now that this was all over, he could properly ask the barmaid if she wanted to become steady. At least Strife didn't seem to mind his attentions towards his friend, something he'd been worried about.

"Thank y-" Rude stopped suddenly, frozen in place as the sack was deposited in his arms. Cloud, Defeater of Sephiroth, Defender of the Planet, and all-out ass-kicker extraordinaire suddenly got a very, very bad feeling as the bald man gave him the darkest look he'd ever received in his entire life.

"This is not Reno," Rude said calmly, not even bothering to open the bag. In the blink of an eye, the struggling individual in the sack, whoever it was, froze, Cloud's eyes widened, Tseng went for his gun…and Cloud took off like a bat out of hell.

The Director scowled darkly but didn't even bother trying to race after someone with speed rivaling the former Silver General's. He wasn't surprised when the few Turks he'd left around the area didn't respond to his emergency phone calls.

_Fabulous. Probably the work of Valentine. The President will not be pleased._

"Well, howdy there Tseng-y! Are we going to see Reeve today?"

The Wutainese man was brought of his thoughts as Cait Sith jumped out of the bag Rude had just opened, easily ripping off his own gag. He had sticks and fake feet attached to his legs to make him appear taller, which he was just managing to balance on. He glared at the animated cat, which, as usual, had no effect on the fake animal.

_If I'm careful, I could probably shoot him six times without permanently damaging his inner hardware, maybe seven. And even if he does break, it's not as if Reeve can't fix him. Speaking of that traitor, I want to know what he had to do with this…hostage situation._

It could never be said the Director of Administrative Research was a stupid man as the brunette suddenly got a very _interesting_ idea. He leaned down to give the beaming cat a dark small smile of his own.

"Why, of course, Cait. In fact, let's go visit your daddy right now." The animated creature jumped for joy at that.

Giving Rude instructions to head back to base and stay with the President, Tseng picked up Reeve's creature and headed for his own car.

_Very well, Strife. If you will not _give_ me Reno, perhaps you will _trade_ him._

_AN: I'll say once again, sorry for taking so long! A bit more Reno in this chapter, but it's still mainly from the POVs of Cloud & Tseng. Let me know what you guys think of this, please! If you like the other POVs, then that's cool, but if you're getting turned off of this fic because of them, I want to know! As I've stated before, I started this fic with only Reno's POV in mind & suddenly got the idea for others one day & took off on it, so it's not like it's a carefully planned part of the plot._I_ know which parts have received extra love?_

Another thing I'm wondering about...does the fic seem inconsistent? To me, it sounds as if it was written better in certain parts, since I had more time to work on & edit them while the newer parts I've added have received less attention. Do you guys notice this too, or is it just my imagination since

Lastly, I know that there are a few parts that it might seem like I've jumped waaay in time (I totally skipped Reno staying with AVALANCHE at all, I know ^_^0) or things aren't explained quite that in-depth but there is actually a reason for a few of those. I've actually gotten ideas for three sidefics for this story, one of which might be a prequel, while writing it & so I don't want to cram it all in here. However, still feel free to point out anything that sounds odd to me, since it might actually be a mistake and not careful omission on my part.

Posted 2/22/10


	6. Barret Was Right!

**Title: **The Camel and the Straw

**Author: **Takebuo Ishimatsu

**Pairing(s): **Rufus/Reno, Vincent/Cid, Zack/Cloud, Tseng/Reeve, more to come

**Summary: **Rufus finally pushes Reno too hard, ordering him to do the one thing he'd never do. Now the redhead's gone AWAL with the help of AVALANCHE & it's up to the blond to get him back in one piece.

**Warning: **This fic is YAOI/SLASH/MxM. Go away ye man-lovin' haters. Has some cursing, but hopefully not too much. (Though this is rated T for a reason!)

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Final Fantasy VII.

_AN: Just a tiny bit of Reno in here, sorry. Though, there is some Tseng/Reeve interaction (actually most of the chapter). I'd originally planned to make this longer, but I don't have too much more written & now I'm kinda debating adding a bit more to what is already there or saving it for a side-fic. Hmm…_

Chapter 6 – Barret Was Right!

_Man, who'd have thought Strife could come up with a plan like this! An' it actually worked, yo!_

Reno relaxed back into his seat, smirking out the window of Strife's buggy. He was rather surprised the missing vehicle didn't smell like shit after all the time it'd been hidden in former Midgar's sewers. To say the least, he'd been startled to see it coming up out of an altered sewer opening, appearing out of nowhere in the seemingly random building Lockhart had ushered him into.

_You wouldn't a made a bad Turk, Strife. Not that I'd ever tell ya so, you damn ShinRa-hatin' bastard._

"Enjoying yourself back there?" Tifa said with some amusement. After staying in close quarters with the guy for five days, she'd begun to see exactly what Rude apparently saw in the younger man. He drove them all insane, sure, and it'd be folly to forget he was a trained killer, but sometimes he almost came off as an excited teenager.

Reno gave her a smirk in return, realizing what he must look like as he practically basked in his "freedom" in the backseat. He was finally on the move again! Not that they were horrible companions or anything, but damn he couldn't stand hanging out with goody-goodies all day long, let along _children_. Over the duration of his stay, there'd been several times he'd said or done something that had caused the others in the room to freeze in horror at the mere thought. And, likewise, he'd hardly been able to stand how sickingly sweet everyone was.

_If this is what "normal" people are like, I'm glad I was picked up by Tseng as a kid. Jus' the sight a _Valentine_ playin' dolls with Marlene is gonna give me nightmares for the rest of my life!_

It hadn't helped that the members of AVALANCHE had quickly caught on that the former Turk was uncomfortable with all the shows of affection and kindness and had leeched onto the fact as a means to some light-hearted revenge. Cloud had practically suffocated from laughter when Yuffie had told Reno she was "truly sorry" that he didn't have any family that he could bake cookies with.

_Screw her! If I wanted to make some cookies with someone, I'd made fucking cookies with someone!_

Reno's mood darkened as he recalled what he considered to be hell on earth, before lifting again. He was finally free, after all. Lockhart would drop him off just outside of Junon and from there he'd take a ship to Nibelheim where he'd stay for a few weeks, if he wasn't caught, before moving on. Even after the experiments stopped, ShinRa officials came and went in the small town all the time so they'd decided it'd be the best place for him to rest temporarily.

_Maybe I'll even do some fighting in the mansion, yo. Gotta keep in shape._

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"Honey, we're home!" Cait Sith shouted across the small room as he bounced on in the door.

"We?" was the soft reply as Reeve peeked his head out of the bathroom.

He smiled upon spotting the Turk striding through the door. Tseng stopped and politely kicked off his shoes before looking up to nod in the other's direction, his version of a warm hello. The older man's eyes roamed freely up and down the other as he appeared to have just gotten out of the shower, with only a towel around his waist.

_This could get interesting._

"I hope I am not interrupting?" Tseng whispered seductively, running his eyes up and down the other a little slower than before. Reeve blushed at the hungry look.

"Of course not, _you_ never interrupt me. Your subordinates on the other hand…they are not welcome here," he replied with a falsely polite smile. Tseng smirked in response.

"As I said, you'll have to forgive them for that minor mishap…or six. Sometimes they get a little too…enthusiastic," Tseng replied with his own false politeness. Reeve just rolled his eyes.

"Cait, could you go make some tea please?"

"On it boss!" The cat ran into the kitchen without further ado, seemingly to be happy to help his creator. If Reeve lied to himself, he liked to think the mechanical cat actually liked him rather than it being a programmed response. Truth be told, some days he actually forgot Cait wasn't a "real" person as it were.

_*Sigh* I need more friends. Ones that aren't Turks. Or former "terrorists." Somebody normal, like that Joe guy down the street. _

As if sensing his thoughts, and being amused by them, Tseng sauntered up to the other man and gently led him to the bedroom. Reeve gave him a raised eyebrow once he was sitting on the edge of his bed, along with a pointed look towards the door.

"Can't you erase his memory afterwards?" the Turk whispered in his ear, leaning over the other, with a hand on both sides of his hips.

"No," Reeve responded stubbornly, though amusement shown in his eyes. Well, technically he could, it wouldn't even be that hard, but he wasn't going to. If the Turk wanted to sleep with him, he could do so _after_ they had their tea. He'd had Cait go to the trouble of making it, after all.

"Are you sure that's your answer?" Reeve eyed the other man at the almost taunting response. They both knew that if the other truly wanted to, he could easily _force_ the engineer. However, despite the other's rather dark reputation, the bearded man had never felt truly threatened by the Turk.

_Except now. I don't like the look in his eyes._

Reeve gently laid a hand on the Wutainese man's chest, preparing to push him off, but Tseng, as if catching on that Reeve was catching on, quickly shot up off of the bed, pulling the engineer with him. He flipped the other around before pushing him back onto the bed on his stomach, holding him down with his own body. For a second, Reeve was too shocked to do anything and before he knew it, he heard a gun being cocked.

_Barret was right! Oh Gaia, Barret was right. Never trust a Turk. Never ever ever. I am going to die!_

Tseng chuckled darkly as the other began hyperventilating underneath him. While there was certainly something to be admired about the engineer's intelligence and general calmness and wit in the realm of mental "fights," the man was really quite pathetic when it came to an actual physical confrontation. Well, pathetic in a cute sort of way. After all, with his mental capabilities, if Reeve were actually proficient in fighting as well, he'd be better than Tseng himself. And that just wouldn't do at all.

"Shhhhhh. Calm down, I'm not going to hurt you. This is for Cait Sith."

With that, Tseng quickly shot the animated cat right in the head just as he was walking in the door with the tea. He then released the engineer, standing up and brushing himself off casually.

"Cait! Tseng you motherfucking, cocksucking, son of a Wutainese street whore!" Tseng raised his eyebrow at that.

_Somebody's not quite as innocent as they seem. He could give Captain Highwind quite a time with a mouth like that._

"Do you know how long this will take to fix! You blew out his CPU! What was the point of that! What point! Did you come over here just to kill Cait? Don't you have a runaway Turk to look for or something? Is this how you get your rocks off! I can't believe…"

Tseng tuned out the other as he ranted and raved for another five minutes. Instead, he focused on watching him walk in angry circles, water from his hair slowly traveling down his chest and disappearing into the towel.

_It's slipping, Reeve._

Tseng turned away in mock courtesy as the other's towel finally gave way after all his angry marching. It wasn't something he hadn't seen before, after all. Nor something he didn't plan on seeing again. But, he felt it prudent for his own safety that he at least pretend to have some courtesy.

_If you were only this angry all the time, then I wouldn't need to assign Turks to guard you every day. _

"Reeve, forgive me. I guarantee I will personally help you fix Cait, however I couldn't allow him to interfere with my plans."

Done retying his towel, Reeve gave the other a wary look. "What plans?"

"Kidnapping you, of course," Tseng replied with a smile as he started towards the other. The other brunette's eyes widened for a moment before he scowled, not even bothering to try and outrun the Director of Administrative Research.

"This has something to do with Reno, doesn't it?" he asked moodily as the Wutainese man gently took hold of his arm. Tseng just nodded, pleased with how quick his lover was.

"You know you could have just asked me to play along," he continued. Tseng gave him a look that said he clearly doubted that the other would have chosen his new lover over his long-time friends.

"Well, you could have at least asked and then kidnapped me once I betrayed your plan to the others. It would have worked out the same since you'd have me either way," he said with a shrug, not denying the truth.

Tseng just shook his head.

"Hey, wait a second, you can't kidnap me like this! I need to put on some clothes!"

Tseng smirked wickedly.

_AN: Hopefully Reeve &/or Tseng weren't OOC, at least not too much. I just LOOOOOOOOOVE how Ookami Kasumi wrote Reeve & Tseng in her **"The Trouble with Turks" **and now I'm totally into writing them like that (in my own personal style) – trying to outwit each other, sarcastic, etc. I would provide a link…but it seems the author took it down. *Sigh* Wish I'd saved a copy…*cries*_

_Anyway, Reno starts having some big parts soon, but, like I said, I still need to add/edit some of it, so I'm not quite certain when it'll be done._


	7. Reno, Finally!

**Title: **The Camel and the Straw

**Author: **Takebuo Ishimatsu

**Pairing(s): **Rufus/Reno, Vincent/Cid, Zack/Cloud, Tseng/Reeve, more to come

**Summary: **Rufus finally pushes Reno too hard, ordering him to do the one thing he'd never do. Now the redhead's gone AWAL with the help of AVALANCHE & it's up to the blond to get him back in one piece.

**Warning: **This fic is YAOI/SLASH/MxM. Go away ye man-lovin' haters. Has some cursing, but hopefully not too much. (Though this is rated T for a reason!)

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Final Fantasy VII.

_AN: Here we go!_

Chapter 7 – Reno, Finally!

"Well, thanks yo. I'll take it from here," Reno said lazily, waving back at the brunette standing beside the buggy as he started towards the town.

Tifa nodded in return, truthfully worried about the other. Reno was obviously good, his former position in the company having belied that, but he was still nothing compared to an entire group of his trained peers. As annoying has he could be, and as annoying as they'd undoubtedly been to him, it'd been safer for him to stay at Seventh Heaven.

_ShinRa wouldn't have really hurt the kids, it'd have been bad publicity, if nothing else. He shouldn't be risking his safety just for a bit of relief on both sides. I'm going to have a talking with Cloud once I get back._

Already plotting how she was going to give the blond a piece of her mind, she almost didn't hear the redhead's final parting words. She whipped around faster than she'd ever had reason to in any fight, but still missed the sight of the other, who'd already melted into the shadows of the town.

_Though I know you didn't actually do it for me, thank you anyway, Reno. _

Even more determined to stop ShinRa from getting their clutches on the other, she hopped into the buggy and started back towards Edge. The redhead's parting words, hopefully not his last words to her, continued to build her determination until the company wouldn't know what hit them.

"_It was you, yo."_

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Rufus had just barely enough control not to smirk wickedly as he eyed the other over the top of his cup of coffee. Instead he opted for what he hoped was a polite smile, unfortunately coming to the realization long ago that even if he had the other now, the engineer would get him back in some way later.

"Would you like something to drink, Mr. Tuesti? Oh, forgive me, perhaps I should call you Reeve? With your relationship with Tseng, we could almost be considered family." The other man didn't bother dignifying either question with a response.

_Oh my, if looks could kill…_

"I'll take that as a 'no.'"

The President often didn't say he was pleased with his subordinates' work, it was their job after all, and he paid them _very _well, but today he decided he'd get the Wutainese man something nice after this was all over. Just to make sure the other knew he'd not mind a repeat performance, though it was obvious Tseng had decided to drag his lover out of his house practically naked for reasons far from his own would have been.

_I'm afraid I can't even appreciate your attractiveness, Mr. Tuesti. It seems I'm just far too pleased at seeing you put in your place._

Sadly, it seemed his fun wasn't meant to last as Tseng finally returned from fetching an extra suit from his apartment above the current ShinRa headquarters. He was amused to note that the other had brought a pair of his boxers as well, not having trusted Reeve enough to even wear his own underwear. Not surprising considering just over a week ago they'd gotten intelligence reports that the other had somehow managed to incapacitate a man with an altered pencil. Though, they both let the engineer believe it was because Tseng was a bastard who enjoyed looking at what he wanted to look at, when he wanted to look at it, i.e., his lover, now. It just wouldn't do to have others knowing the Turk Director was worried about what engineer could do.

The leader of the WRO just barely flushed as he realized he'd be _completely _wearing the other's outfit for the time being. Without a word, he moved to the adjoining bathroom to change. Tseng eyed the closed door for a moment and it was only years of being around his Turks that lead Rufus to believe he was contemplating if he should make him keep the door open or perhaps go in with him. Ultimately, the other man simply turned his gaze back towards his employer.

_You love him, don't you, Director? Perhaps this was a bad idea._

Rufus suddenly had an unusual feeling of uncertainty. While the plan was simple enough – call Strife, tell him to switch Reno for Reeve – he suddenly worried that something could go very wrong if anything were to accidentally happen to the former Director of Urban Development. Still, he kept quiet, knowing Tseng would only deny it if he tried to comment that perhaps his feelings could end up being a problem for the "mission," both during and after.

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Zack tried to stop laughing, he really did, but one more glance at the blond trying to glare at him out of the corner of his eyes sent him over the edge again. He bent double, clutching his sides while he was vaguely aware of Aeris smiling at them both from somewhere in the Lifestream. She'd decided not to fully materialize this time, giving the two at least the impression of being alone together for a few minutes.

_~I'm sorry, Spike, but I swear I've never seen _anybody_ run so fast in my entire life. And considering I've seen how fast Seph could move when he'd hidden Genesis' _Loveless_, that's saying something. Not to mention your face!~_

He heard the blond take in a breath as he cracked up again but before any reprimand could come, his phone went off. Recognizing the number, Cloud flipped it open immediately, for once not allowing it to go to voice message.

"Reeve? How are you? I guess you may have heard the news…" Cloud's voice trailed off as he listened to the other speaker, a small frown slowly starting to form on his almost-pretty face. Zack looked almost exactly like his nick-namesake as he cocked his head to the side, trying to hear the other on the phone. Though he couldn't make out exact words, he recognized the voice of the Turk leader.

Cloud flipped the phone shut and sighed, leaning back against the nearby wall of the bar, closing his eyes. Zack seemed almost absent-minded as he gazed about the street, though the observing flower girl knew he was keeping watch for any Turks they may have missed, until his little lover was safely inside. Being gone for so long, sometimes he forgot that his little chocobo could probably kick his ass nowadays.

_*We'll have to have a spar when he passes on.*_

"Reeve's been kidnapped by the Turks. They want Reno in exchange for him."

_*Ah man!*_

Zack had just barely enough time to mentally whine to himself before Cloud opened his eyes, their gazes almost having time to catch for a second, and he was pushed back into the Lifestream.

_*Stupid afterlife rules.*_

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Two days after his "drop off" found Reno still in Costa del Sol. He'd decided to stay an extra day in the beach resort, not because he loved it but because he couldn't stand it, thinking it'd be the last place anyone would look for him, perhaps even more so than Nibelheim.

_And that right there was your mistake, dumbass. Anyone that knows you was bound to look here first _because_ it's the last place to look. Gotta stop thinking their random assassins, yo._

He mentally berated himself for the tenth time in the past hour alone as he slinked along various dark parts of the old Shinra beach resort, now property of one Cloud Strife. How that had happened, was a mystery only the Planet knew the answer to…and probably Tseng.

_Probably in one of those *important* files Rude always reads for me, though Imma guess the damn rich hick didn't know what do to with all his battle-money and decided this was something good enough to waste gil on. Though, it is a nice crib, yo._

Well, nice enough when there wasn't anyone lurking in it, he supposed. He'd been fine the first day he'd arrived at the place, though his stark albino-white skin made him stand out more than his hair, for once. The beginning of the second day, however, he'd awoken to the feeling that someone was watching him.

Naturally, he'd _freaked_ and had spent over an hour combing the place over and over, both for people and bugs, before finally giving up. Whoever it was was either watching him from a distance or – the frightening part – knew his movements well enough to stay around the house and not get caught.

_Meaning it's most likely Tseng or my ex-partner. Shit, maybe both for all I know. This ain't good, yo._

Still, whoever it was hadn't attacked him or tried to take him down via bullet, making him lean more towards it being Rude. The big guy was okay in stealth tactics but he'd never been the best, whereas Reno was "the shit," as he liked to say to his instructors. If he tried to directly sneak up on him, Reno'd take him out…or run like hell. Rude hit _hard_.

_That jus' means he's callin' back-up, yo. Gotta get the hell outta here, Reno._

Completely tense, he slowly slipped out the door, though not before peeking out the peep-hole at least seventeen times. Several people game him weird looks as he slinked out, though more so because he was wearing Strife's overly broad leather jacket in 98 degree weather than his odd behavior. A few even had the nerve to invite him to come over and "take off all that baggage, sweety." He gave the closest speaker, a wraith of a man at least a hundred years of age, along with his three frighteningly muscled bodyguards, his best "I will fuck you up" look that he'd used to intimidate bigger men down in the slums, before he'd become a Turk. He hadn't used it in years, his Turk uniform saying twice that loud and clear, but he was glad it still seemed to work as they all turned away, looking for easier prey.

_And people come here to relax and "enjoy the sun" and all that other shit. Half of 'em don't have a clue as to what some a these rich bastards do on the weekends. Other half _are_ the rich bastards, yo. I should know, I used to work for two of them._

Though, he had to admit, that despite bugging his various living spaces and brushing against his side one too many times to be natural, Rufus really wasn't that bad.

_At least not until his lackies blow a hole through my brain, yo._

He leisurely made his way to the docks, hoping whoever it was wouldn't want to cause a scene and shoot him out in the open. He was by now beginning to wonder what the hell his fellow Turks wanted from him before he was killed, since it was obvious something was up.

_Why didn't whoever it was just shoot me in my sleep, yo? It ain't like I got any info that they don't, nor any special cells in me like Strife. _

Still pondering, he slowly began weaving his way in and out of the people, not really going any place in particular, but instead just trying to lose his tail. He didn't have a ride, so getting all the way to Nibelheim with a Turk following him would be almost impossible. He also didn't have that much money; if he got back on the boat and went somewhere else, he'd not have much to spend on necessities.

_I'm probably the poorest SOB on this beach, yo._

Reno winced as a plan slowly started to form in his mind. No way, he couldn't do it! He felt the intense stare again, even closer this time than it'd been that morning. Still, whipping around, he didn't see anything out of the ordinary and no one he recognized, save a young blond man a few yards away. The only child of some perverse rich asshole that used to be good friends of the late President, if he recalled. Rumor was that the kid's old man used to rape him; Reno'd hardly been happier when Rufus had informed his Turks that Mr. Sulik, senior, was no longer a valuable asset to the company. The redhead eyed the young man for a moment before dismissing him as any possible help. He wouldn't want the poor kid to land in Turk hands and be tortured for information; he'd had it rough enough already.

Closing his eyes, he sighed, knowing what he'd have to do.

_Man, my nightmares are gonna have nightmares about this, yo. The shit I get myself into._

Determinedly, he marched back over to where the perverted old man was, casually taking note of how his bodyguards immediately tensed, reading to spring up if needed. He wasn't impressed when they sized him up and found him lacking, going back to their normal states. Neither was he surprised. It wasn't the first time he'd been misjudged or likely the last time. In fact, half of his fighting technique was just using others' preconceptions about him against them.

_Bodyguard rule #1: _All_ people are to be considered dangerous, regardless of appearance or relationship with the guard-ee. Dumbasses. _

"Hey, old man, I'm guessin' you got money for all these wannabes you got hanging around with ya, but do you got any transportation, yo?"

The men, as tall as Rude and twice as muscled, slowly stood up. Reno figured he'd actually be scared shitless of them if he hadn't fought I'm-fucking-amazing-and-we-both-know-it Strife and co, let alone the normal stuff he had to do as a Turk. Instead, he was more of a wary-amused state of mine; far more worried about the intense chill he was getting up and down his spine from his unseen ex-commrade.

"My, my, aren't you a cocky little shit!" The old man laughed and gave the sand beneath him a good few slaps. Though it appeared he'd never stepped out of his "lazy" stance in the first place, the redhead felt himself slowly relaxing, pleased he'd judged the old geezer right.

_Bossman always said one a my best skills was sizing people up._

Reno smirked, which he'd been told was "delightfully sexy" even if it annoyed the crap out of everyone most the time.

"Well, you gonna answer my question, yo? I ain't got all day," he softly, using his best sensual drawl. The old man eyed him up and down hungrily before turning away as if uninterested.

"Well, of course, I have my own personal helicopter. I don't see how that's any of your business."

"Not even if I said I'd let you fuck me if you gave me a lift? I s'pose I'll find someone else," he murmured in an absentminded way before shrugging. He turned away and the soft "Don't let him leave!" was all the warning he got before two sets of hands grabbed his upper arms and forced him into a sitting position next to the old guy. It was a good thing too, if he hadn't heard the order, he'd probably would have automatically taken them both out. That would have certainly ruined his chances of getting to this helicopter, not to mention he'd have three more pursuers on his tail.

"Yo, yo man! What's with the aggression, yo!" Reno said, not in the least pretending his peevishness. He had to suppress a wince as the elderly man slid his hand slowly up from his knee until it rested on his right thigh.

"So sorry, my lad, but the boys can get a little too…enthusiastic at times."

The redhead just rolled his eyes before murmuring a soft "Whatever, yo." Despite the fact he was probably going to need therapy afterwards, Reno leaned in and gave the other a soft peck on the lips before going completely rigid. Slowly, the ex-Turk raised his eyes over the top of the white-haired head to see his partner's, _ex_-partner's, head peering out of the shadows of one of the buildings, his mouth agape while he loosely head a phone up to his ear. Reno slowly raised a questioning eyebrow and the other seemed to snap out of it. Realizing he'd blown his cover, the other Turk slowly walked back towards the building's end, never taking his semi-horrified gaze from the redhead's.

_Shit, yo. That was a close one. If nothin' else, these dumbass wannabes are good for blocking bullets. _

"Something wrong…?" the old man said, having noticed the other's visible tensing.

"Robert."

"Something wrong, Robert?" The old guy twisted around to try and see just what the younger man was looking at, but saw nothing. His guards just shrugged when he addressed his unanswered question to them wordlessly through a look.

_Yeah, I just saw a fucking angry Turk that either wants to shoot my ass or wants to bring me back to headquarters, torture me as a lesson to all the rookies, and then shoot my ass._

"Nothin'. I just thought I saw my ex-boyfriend, Nick Quarter. I left his sorry ass about a month ago when he started gettin' real abusive with me, yo. Apparently, he didn't like the fact that I was more into his father than him, yo. Who'd a thought? Ya see, I've always been more into the older men…"

_AN: Yippee! Reno's returned! He's finally starting to catch on that his ex-buds may not actually feel like putting a few holes in him. That could only mean they want to do worse! Oh noes! XD_

This chapter's about twice my normal length, meant to be two separate ones, but I felt you guys might appreciate some more Reno. Next chapter should have Rude's POV for the first time, if anyone cares. (Am I the only one that loves Rude just as much as Reno? They're a team, dammit! Poor guy gets no luvin'.)

Also, *I have a poll going* about my Misconceptions fic, but also about what I might write next after one or both of the fics are complete. I'd appreciate it if you took a look at it, at least if you want your opinion to count for what I write next. (I have about 12 fic ideas, and no real preference of their order.)

Originally Posted: 3/15/10


	8. In Which Rufus is Traumatized for Life

**Title: **The Camel and the Straw

**Author: **Takebuo Ishimatsu

**Pairing(s): **Rufus/Reno, Vincent/Cid, Zack/Cloud, Tseng/Reeve, more to come?

**Summary: **Rufus finally pushes Reno too hard, ordering him to do the one thing he'd never do. Now the redhead's gone AWAL with the help of AVALANCHE & it's up to the blond to get him back in one piece.

**Warning: **This fic is YAOI/SLASH/MxM. Go away ye man-lovin' haters. Has some cursing, but hopefully not too much. (Though this is rated T for a reason!)

**WARNING! WARNING! WARNING!** Tseng's section in this chapter has some serious schmexin' (starting at "Skipping over the rest" & going to "it was interesting." – only 3 paragraphs, but still, it's M & this is only rated T, so I thought I'd mention it!)

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Final Fantasy VII.

_AN: Here. We. Go!_

Chapter 8 – In Which Rufus is Traumatized for Life

"He did WHAT!" Rude winced slightly, holding the phone as far away from his abused ear as possible.

_You're still causing me headaches, Little Red._

"The subject appears to have acquired new acquaintances via sexual actions, namely, an older man with several bodyguards. He was kissing him before he noticed my presence," Rude said monotonously.

"Why didn't you stop him! He was right there in front of you!" Rude prevented the sigh that threatened to escape. It just wouldn't do to let on to the President of the largest corporation in the world that you thought he was a demanding brat. Not at all.

_I wish Reno was here to deal with this._

Rude blinked slightly as the thought suddenly escaped from him. He allowed a bitter smile as he suddenly imagined his former partner yelling at Rufus Shinra over the phone about his own lack of capture.

_Something along the lines of "Sooooo sorry, Mister Prez, sir, but ya seem to be forgettin' that I was one a the best, yo. And, I know for a fact that ya don't like civilians knowing our business on a good day, never mind the fact that ShinRa's been in some deep shit lately. So do forgive my ex-partner here for not madly running across the mos' popular beach in the world and letting everyone know what's what." Yeah, that sounds like Red. Little punk would do it too, if he could get away with it._

"I'm sorry, sir, but I was following previous orders from Director Tseng that no outside people are to know about our problem. I felt trying to take Reno now would cause a stir."

There was silence on the other end for a second before a soft sigh came through the line. Rude could just imagine his boss sitting at his desk, hand rubbing his forehead in frustration. Nothing new when it came to thoughts of Reno.

"Very well, see to it that you follow him discreetly, and then take him out when you have the chance."

Rude rolled his eyes, "Yes, sir."

_Not like I haven't been doing this for the past fifteen years, Boss._

"And, when you come across Reno's new _friends_, I want them eliminated. Slowly."

Rude raised his eyebrow, a trained response though he knew the other couldn't see it.

"Yes, sir?"

"Because…he…might have told them something, about where he was going. Yes?"

Rude just blinked. Reno was a talker, sure, but he never gave away anything important. Well, besides that one time he essentially told the Sephiroth clones that ShinRa had their "mother." The other Turks had given him shit about that for months.

"Yes, well, that will be all. Thank you."

Rude stared at his mobile for a few seconds after the other had hung up on him abruptly. Who knew the President was such a little werido on the phone? Good thing Reno always answered for him.

_Correction: Used to answer for me._

Snapping the cell shut, he glanced out of the shadows, making sure the redhead was still where he'd left him. A small sense of satisfaction came about when he noticed the other's pained look, most likely indiscernible to anyone else around.

_That's what you get for wearing a _leather _jacket at Costa del Sol and then sitting by a man that would kill to get it off, dumbass. Serves you right for running, bastard._

He leaned back against the cool wall, contemplating that last thought. He knew there was more to it than that; Red wouldn't just up and leave. Sure, Turks broke sometimes, didn't even have to be during anything rough. He'd once seen a man years ago shoot himself in the cafeteria when they'd told him there was no more Jell-O; no one had ever figured out what memory the poor lunch lady had brought back. Hell, maybe it hadn't brought back any, maybe the man had just really liked his Jell-O. Still, Reno knew he had his back, he should have told him.

And that's where the theories started. Rude didn't talk much, but that didn't mean he didn't think much. The only reason his partner, of thirteen years, hadn't said anything was that it had something to do with him personally. Either he'd quit to protect him, or he'd done something that he knew might turn the bigger man against him. The fact that his two bosses weren't saying anything either was just as telling as Reno's silence. He didn't even bother contemplating what the previous conversation meant in it all; Rufus really should have Tseng make his calls.

To add to that, the younger Turks had been told to "eliminate the traitor," yet the seniors had been given completely different orders. Telling them to "Return Reno alive" implied that they'd lied to the rookies with the belief that they wouldn't accomplish their task anyway, but feared the elders might. They'd made it clear that they wanted his partner alive, but for what reason?

He'd gone along with it all, specifically the exchange with Strife, because of Tseng's promise that the younger man wouldn't be tortured. He hadn't said anything else in regards to what was going to be done with him, and Rude had wondered if for once the Wutainese man didn't know himself. Or, he was lying because he knew that Rude would choose his ex-partner over the company.

_Not exactly a good outlook for a Turk, could get me killed. *Snort* Fuck that. I swear I'll put a second hole in Rufus' ass if he even thinks about handing Little Red over to the science department._

He was pulled out of his dark musings as a mop of bright red hair started moving out of the corner of his eye. Walking side-by-side with the geezer, Reno all but strolled across the beach, the three muscle men following closely behind. Rude just shook his head.

_How do you even come up with these ideas, partner?_

The bigger man started to follow, hoping he wasn't somehow giving himself away. The reason he'd not just tranq'd the other and been done with it wasn't because he wouldn't, but because he couldn't. Little Red was a light sleeper, even after years of rooming with the other. Rude had just managed to open the bedroom door when Reno'd shot up like lightning. The bald man had been lucky to still be outside the room and able to snap it shut and run before he'd been seen. Then the crazy hour-long chase had begun. Fortunately, anyone who thought Reno was completely unpredictable didn't look hard enough – there was always a method to his madness. After years of working together, Rude had just barely managed to stay a step ahead until he'd finally slipped out the door.

Rude narrowed his eyes as the group walked into the nearby building and then into the elevator. Calmly, he walked towards the second set of metal doors, ignoring the usual "OMG, it's a Turk!" looks as he noted what floor the other had stopped on.

Stepping out of the metal contraption, he quickly glanced around. There was no sign of his missing partner, so he went about looking for his voice. Pulling out his standard Turk sound amplifier, he started listening through all the nearest doors, moving down one side of the hallway and then the other.

Reaching the end quickly, he frowned. Something wasn't right. There were only twelve rooms on what must have been the "rich floor" and yet he hadn't heard his partner, an old man, nor (he shuddered at the thought) any sounds of sex. Maybe he'd made a mistake and hadn't read the floor numbers correctly? Or maybe Reno had gotten to the top and then made some excuse to go back down, knowing his partner was following him?

Guessing that the redhead was long gone anyway if he'd tricked him, he decided it wouldn't hurt to start checking for unlocked doors. If they were still up here, there was the possibility that a man with that much back-up would be too cocky to lock his room. And the silence? His lips twitched slightly.

_They might have gagged the noisy little fucker; I know I did the first time I worked with him._

He shook his head at the image of an outraged sixteen-year-old Reno bound and gagged, sitting next to him in his office as he completed the paperwork in lovely silence. Obviously, he'd gotten used to the non-stop flow of words, which were usually about nothing. Now, he was practically the only Turk that'd work with the other, thus the reason they'd been made permanent partners.

Stopped him from having to say anything, at least. He'd never been very good with people, truth be told. His quietness combined with his size apparently made him "scary" to others.

Rude was shocked to find that the last door on the left side of the hallway wasn't actually a room. Instead, it opened up to a set of stairs leading towards what he guessed was the roof.

_What kind of hotel risks a lawsuit by letting its guests up there? Stupid-_

Suddenly he was dashing up the hidden stairwell, though already knowing he was going to be too late.

_Fucking rich bastards with fucking helicopters! Of course!_

He wasn't surprised to notice an armed guard lying prone on the ground just outside the door. Looking around, he saw four more men, all unmoving. Stopping to check for pulses, he noticed that the ex-Turk had left the hotel's guard alive but had killed the pervert and his lackies, all four of which had some tell-tale signs of burns. EMR burns, left when the charge was put to the max, meaning he'd skipped his usual method of hitting them in just the right place to cause instant death and had opted for a more painful demise. Rude chuckled.

_Red really didn't like you guys, did he? _

He jumped when his phone rang, then frowned when he looked down and realized he didn't recognize the number. Turk numbers weren't listed; they in fact had their own special area code, to prevent any such problems of wrong number dialing. When it kept ringing, he shrugged and flipped it open, deciding he didn't have anything to lose by telling some random old lady that she'd hit the wrong buttons.

His mouth dropped open at the voice on the other line.

_You little shit!_

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"Come now, Reeve, don't be that way. Despite what you might think, squid is actually considered quite the delicacy in Wutai."

The engineer turned his head away defiantly when the other lifted the chopsticks to his lips again. Tseng pouted for a moment, which Reeve refused to admit was adorable. Seeing that his perfected, but rarely used, puppy look wasn't getting a response, the Turk decided to put the plate to the side.

"If you continue to refuse to eat, I'll just have to hook you up to an I.V. Of course, since you won't be allowed to move and _accidentally_ rip it out, I'll have to insert a catheter as well," observing out of the corner of his eye the slight twitch his last comment garnered, he continued, "That might be interesting, I suppose. It'd be like an odd sort of combination of water sports and sounding. Hmm, perhaps while the catheter is out we can practice stretching you by inserting-"

Reeve groaned before snapping, "Just feed me the damn squid and shut up. And don't even think about inserting _anything_ in _either_ hole, bastard."

The Wutainese man hummed contently and picked the chopsticks back up. This time the engineer didn't turn away, though if looks could kill Tseng would be one dead Turk. Really, it wasn't his fault that the other man had tried to escape so many times (and almost succeeded at several as well) that they'd been forced to tie him to the Turk's bed.

_Well, I suppose I could have left him his clothing._

Apparently tired of ShinRa's "game," as he'd called it, the engineer had started refusing food the previous night. Tseng doubted he was seriously in danger of starving himself to death, but he wasn't taking any chances. To make matters worse, the former members of AVALANCHE had been trying to break into the compound ever since he'd called Strife two days ago.

He wondered if he should just let his poor robotics expert go; Rude had apparently already found Reno wondering around Costa del Sol, proving Strife's claims that they didn't have him anymore. He sighed. He'd been working overtime ever since the redhead's defection, and he really enjoyed having an excuse to just relax with his lover, if only for a moment.

_Perhaps ex-lover now; he really does look quite annoyed. Hmm, I'll have to change that, won't I?_

Smirking, he put the mostly finished lunch away and leaned over the other man. Reeve scowled in response, but Tseng could still see lust and an almost concealed hint of playfulness in the other's eyes. The older man made a soft little sound as the Turk lowered his mouth to his left nipple, Tseng never taking his gaze from the other's. Realizing he was losing the battle, Reeve looked away and tried to appear stoic.

_If that's how you want to play…_

Skipping over the rest of his chest, Tseng moved down directly to his main target. Grabbing hold of the other's half-hearted erection, he ran his tongue from base to tip and back again. The engineer couldn't help but buck when he repeated this a few times, only giving the other the lightest sensation, not enough to come by a long shot. Reeve started moaning like a trained street whore when he started nibbling on the other's tip.

Still smirking, Tseng stopped and observed the man for a moment. The bearded man had his head thrown back into the soft pillows, entire body taunt. Quickly noticing the inactivity, Reeve gave him a dirty look and was about to open his mouth and demand he continue, if he knew what was good for him, when the Turk did just that.

Gently, he took the other's foreskin between his top two fingers and thumb. He slowly began moving his hand up and down, both teasing and examining his lover now that he had all the time in the world to do so. He didn't have any such extra skin of his own; it was interesting.

That was the scene that one Cloud Strife and one Vincent Valentine found themselves bursting in on. Reeve, tied to the bed with Wutainese silk, quivering and gasping with pleasure. Tseng, lying between the other's outstretched legs on his stomach, fingers slowly massaging the engineer's cock. Everyone in the room completely froze, Tseng's hand still on his lover.

Then, as if in slow motion, Strife's face turned the deepest shade of red known to man, Reeve buried his head in his arm in humiliation, and the two Turks shared a look. Unable to take it after a few seconds, Tseng buried his face in the bed next to the other's crotch, finally removing his hand in favor of covering his mouth. Soft snorts of laughter could still be heard from the man and, amazingly, Valentine began snickering as well. The two others in the room gave each other unbelievable looks. What the hell was wrong with Turks?

"Um…" Strife started, the look on his face causing the active Turk to start all over again.

_Leviathan, the most powerful man in the world…*snicker* I haven't laughed like this in years._

Without another word, the ex-Turk grabbed his "Rescue Reeve" mission partner and started out the door they'd just knocked down.

"But, Vincent! Reeve! He's…He's molesting him!" Strife squawked as he was yanked down the hall, past a confused Cissnei and Rod. The two Turks let them pass without trouble, shrugging as they re-holstered their unneeded weapons.

"I don't think Reeve minds," Valentine said with his usual monotone, though still clearly amused if his twitching lips were anything to go by.

Tseng looked up at his lover, a genuine, pure, happy smile on his face. He noticed the other's amazed look rather than the outraged or horrified one he'd been expecting and blinked questioningly in a way that even an angry Reeve had to admit was actually kind of cute.

"Well…now that they're gone…" Reeve trailed off, still slightly mortified at what his friends had seen. He was going to _kill_ the Turk, but first he had a problem that he needed the other to take care of. It had nothing to do with the fact he was straying dangerously close to forgiving his psychotic lover. Nothing at all.

Tseng smirked again in his knowing way, a look Reeve was steadily growing to both love and hate, before dropping his mouth down to swallow the other whole.

Cissnei and Rod decided it was better to leave the door to be fixed later. The Planet's two saviors might get away with only a snigger thrown at them, but the two had a strong suspicion that they wouldn't leave that room alive if they tried to do the same themselves. Still, they inched closer, supposing it wouldn't hurt to just peak in for a moment.

After a particularly hearty moan from their captive, Cissnei turned towards her fellow Turk.

"Screw this sneaking, that's a view worth dying for. Rod, go get my video camera."

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"Yes, well, that will be all. Thank you."

Rufus snapped the phone shut and buried his face in his hands, mortified. He was suddenly all too pleased that Tseng had decided to visit his trying little engineer; his annoyance (he refused to say jealousy) with the Turk for having left him in favor of the other now passing.

_Gaia, thank you? I said fucking thank you to a Turk. To _Rude._ I haven't even said thank you to Tseng in over six months. *Sigh* Perhaps I just need some air._

Opening his office door, he was treated to the sight of Valentine pulling along a flustered Strife, who was mumbling something about protecting Reeve's innocence. He glanced over to Elena, who was sitting calmly watching the two, sipping on her coffee, as if there weren't two Level 10 threats running about the Presidential floor right in front of her.

Planet, he needed Reno back. At least the redhead would _comment_ on the intrusion. With a sigh, he turned back around and closed the door behind him.

_Air is over-rated anyway. Where the hell is Tseng?_

Not receiving an answer to his call, he hit the button to connect to his outer Turk desk.

"Elena, send someone to get the Director, I think he forgot his phone."

"Uh…is there anything I can help you with instead?" the girl responded uncertainly. Despite her years, she really wasn't senior enough to speak with the President directly very often. Especially with the Wutainese man always orbiting him; there was really no need for Rufus Shinra to speak with anyone, ever.

"Why? Is Tseng _busy_?" Rufus replied snidely. What the hell could be more important to a Turk than him?

"Well…" She trailed off, wondering if what she was doing could be considered back-talking. Or, Planet forbid, deliberately disobeying an order.

"He is? What the hell is he doing? He's suppose to be visiting Reeve. Actually, never mind, I'll deal with it myself." Rufus now sounded quite annoyed, thus the reason why Elena didn't try to explain further.

Opening his laptop, he quickly entered into the security footage section, looking for the link that would connect him to the Director's room. He'd been pleased that Tseng had agreed to the extra cameras without much fuss, when they'd rebuilt the headquarters. In fact, it'd actually been his idea to place them in his own rooms, in the hopeful prevention of another episode with Valentine. There was still no clues as to how the man had posted all those pictures of Reno everywhere.

_Not that I minded, of course. _

Without the redhead's knowledge, Rufus had ordered that all the photos be removed immediately, and then delivered to him for "safe keeping." He'd pointedly ignored the questioning look he'd received from Tseng at the time.

His dark countenance morphed into a mortified one as Tseng's bedroom finally popped up on the screen. Suddenly, Strife's comments from just moments before came rushing back to him. He felt such a blond, and he found himself blushing like a schoolgirl. He quickly snapped the computer shut with a loud smack, not in the least wanting to watch a man that he considered to be his older brother, in an odd way, if not an actual substitute for his real father.

_Planet, I knew they were _together_, but…Planet! _

"Is everything ok, sir? I heard a loud noise." Elena peaked in hesitantly, not quite sure she was even allowed to do so.

"Just a minor disagreement with my computer. Go tell Cissnei to put that camera away, and while you're out, fetch me some water. I think my eyes are burning."

_AN: So, how am I doing? I haven't updated in a month (sorry!) & I'm also writing other very different fics, so hopefully everything sounds ok in this. I personally feel that the writing's gotten a little lax since the first chapter, but I figured I'd finish the fic first & then go back & tweak it. Sorry that there's no direct Reno in this. Next chapter should start off where Rude's POV left off…hmm, wonder who he could be talking to? _

Posted: 4/21/10


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